Pamela Verner

The Light of the Garden of Grace

Seeing the Light within the darkness seems for many of us to be an impossible venture or a frightening experience. Or both. But the truth is, it requires only two things: choice and courage. Choice implies you believe the Light is there for you. Even if you hold only a tiny fragment of belief. That’s all that’s needed. And second, courage assures you go forward despite your fear.  

For years, I’d refused to listen to my deeper knowing, to that subtle calling from within. Walking through such a doorway into an unknown field of awareness seemed both impossible and terrifying. I vividly remember the day, long ago, when I made the decision to step forward despite fear. In looking back, what I did was rather surreal. I didn’t think about what to do or why. I just followed the call of my body and my distress.

The Courage of a Butterfly

Some people tell me they find the journey into a deeper knowing of themselves too difficult, perhaps too frightening, or just plain not worth it. To those who feel this way, I say, I get it. It is a tough walk. And one not done by the majority of people. But it is worth every step of the journey. Every. Single. Step.

Consider the journey of a butterfly. First, these beautiful creatures start as a tiny egg, just as we do. Then, they develop into a caterpillar, crawling around eating practically everything in sight. Kind of like us. We search, chase, and consume just about everything we can, many of us getting lost in never ending circles of seeking. What are we looking for? Most of us don’t even know. It seems to be part of our human journey.

But then the caterpillar goes into a chrysalis, the caterpillar’s version of a cave. The caterpillar has no choice in this matter. It’s just something they must do to survive. And in the cave they are transformed.

 

about-me-section

My Story

One day, after decades of silence, I finally gathered the courage to say out loud what I’d known deeply in my heart was always true.

When I was not quite five years old, I had a profound experience where I learned I was not simply my personality, but was also an eternal being traveling through lifetimes, learning, growing, sharing and being held within a timeless loving presence in a deeper home than this outer world seems to show. And that not one of us is left out. Every one is included in this.

As a child and young adult, it was difficult to wash this with all I saw in our world every day. The bullying, the fighting, the wars, the losses. After some traumatic experiences and after healing through suicidal desires, I finally found the ground to hold my heart’s knowing within the paradox of this world. After several years as a journalist, I went to graduate school and became a psychotherapist specializing in addictions and trauma. While keeping my personal experiences silent, I used my awareness as I witnessed others healing. And then, one day, I could be silent no longer.

This is my understanding—we are all eternally held within a huge field of Universal Love. No one is left out. Not. One. Person. We just deny our connection to this Divinity, believing we are separate. The belief in separation is what creates the pain and negativity we humans experience in this world. We all need to come home to this Universal Love. It is here, within each of us, if we open ourselves to it. And it is our life task to do this journey.

Breathing Into The Light

One woman’s journey embracing the sacredness of all life

A compelling, eye-opening memoir that is filled with spiritual lessons, Breathing into the Light: One Woman’s Journey Embracing the Sacredness of All Life follows Pamela Verner’s passage from hurt to healing, from despair to hope, to become a healer herself. Pamela has experienced a lot of darkness in her life — including sexual abuse, addiction in the family, and depression — a victim of circumstance who has often considered suicide. This book shares her struggle with suicidal thoughts, her grim experience of victimhood, and the exhilarating joy of inner freedom when she embraced the light that guided her to freedom. The author leads readers to understand how her struggles were opportunities and gifts and how her unique journey revealed support that she ignored. It is a tale of the triumph of hope, inspiring, and invigorating, a story that will make readers aware of the hidden possibilities in their lives and the untapped energy of their spirit.

Breathing into the Light is a spellbinding memoir that melds principles of psychology with spirituality to propose a healthy path to mental health. In sharing her story, the author uncovers realities that many readers ignore, bringing awareness to the spiritual side of our journey towards healing and finding purpose, showing readers how to shift perspective and become fully and wholly alive. This extraordinary tale of a woman who suffered loss, experienced deep levels of grief, and helped her husband enter into recovery from alcoholism, reveals powers and spiritual guides that have been part of her journey all along.

Romauld Dzemo

Book Commentary

Pamela's Blog

    What people are saying

    This book is a must read for anyone who has ever struggled with thoughts of suicide or felt overwhelmed by the darkness of life. For this is a story of both darkness and light, death and rebirth, despair and hope as we follow the narrative so beautifully woven of Pam’s life.

    Her story provides both a “candle and a rose” lighting a way of hope thru the darkness, that only one who has been there could possibly provide. Her journey is a testament to the transformation that is possible when one enters the dark and vulnerable places of the psyche with compassion and forgiveness, which is truly the doorway to the expansive space of unconditional love.

    The beauty of her words and her expertise as a therapist provide an extraordinary framework for anyone struggling in this process called life and open the possibility that yes! “It is worth every step of the journey.